In a heart-wrenching tale of parental anguish, Tom Toolan recounts the moment he learned his five-year-old daughter Rhian would not be returning from what was supposed to be a brief holiday in Poland. This devastating revelation came via a simple text message from his former partner, stating, "We are not coming back."
Six years have passed since that fateful day in 2018, and Tom has joined forces with 14 other fathers who share a similar plight. These men have dedicated years to raising awareness about parental abductions, clinging to the hope of reuniting with their children.
"I wake up at 5.30am in the morning and the first thing I do is check my emails in case there's a message saying, 'we've found your daughter'."
The fathers' stories share striking similarities. John Fletcher from Chesterfield experienced the abduction of his daughter to Poland in 2018, following a breakdown in his relationship with her mother. Despite winning cases under the 1980 Hague Convention, an international treaty on child abduction, these fathers face significant challenges in enforcing return orders.
Brexit has further complicated matters. The UK's withdrawal from the EU resulted in the loss of the Brussels IIa Regulation, a legal instrument that ensured automatic recognition of British family court judgments in EU member states. This has created what experts describe as a "legal blackhole," making it increasingly difficult for left-behind parents to secure their children's return.
The issue of parental abductions extends beyond Poland. Over the past five years, nearly one thousand parents have abducted their own children from the UK, marking a 12% increase from 2019. Reunite, a leading UK charity on international child abduction, reported 515 new cases in 2022 alone. Countries such as Pakistan, which is not a member of the Hague Convention, pose even greater challenges for left-behind parents.
The psychological impact on abducted children can be severe. Dr. Alyse Price-Tobler, a clinical psychotherapist who was abducted as a child, likens the experience to being in a cult. She emphasizes the importance of swift reunification with left-behind parents to mitigate long-term mental health consequences.
The fathers are calling for diplomatic intervention and improved prevention measures. They highlight the need for stronger passport controls and better management of the process for obtaining passports for children. David Simmonds, MP for Ruislip, Northwood and Pinner, advocates for enhanced border checks to prevent unlawful child removals.
As the European Commission launches infringement proceedings against Poland for failing to enforce return orders, these fathers continue their relentless fight. Their struggle underscores the need for international cooperation and legal reforms to address the growing issue of parental abductions.
"We deserve to see our children again."
The UK government, through the Foreign, Commonwealth and Development Office, states that it takes international parental child abduction seriously and offers support to those affected. However, for fathers like Tom and John, the journey to reunite with their children remains an ongoing and emotionally taxing battle.